230912 - Not Another EMO Post

Well, for those that don't wish to read some emotion posts, I'm here to apologize first as me not really in the good mood.

First thing that ruin the week was the MUET result.
I knew, for a lot of people it's more than enough.
I knew, I shouldn't put on high hope.
But I just couldn't accept that I didn't achieve what I want.
180, band 4 ( 180-219 ).
A mark lesser will just drop me a band to band 3.
Should I say I'm lucky enough?
Is it my target set too high?
Is it the teacher's problem?
Is it the examiner problem?
Or my english is just that poor?
It's sad to see that a lot of my classmates need to retake.
Was deciding which should I do and until this moment, I haven't make up my mind.
Retake? Remark? Accept?

Next, my trial result is like SHIT.
Again blame on myself.
What else to blame when own didn't give enough concentration and preparation on it.
Disappointment and jealousy made me feel the pressure finally.
I shall work hard on STPM starting now without any procrastination anymore!
Hope this can last long.
4.0, still seems like a dream that hard to achieve.

Lastly, social problems that I faced at all time.
I'm not those kind that can mix with others easily.
Please don't say me look down on anyone or whatever.
Me just don't really wish to expose too much to others.
Sometimes, just like and love the people around me making me feel suffer enough.
Don't ask me why, but I enjoy being alone sometimes.
There were people that accidentally stepped into my safe zones in past week making me feel insecure now.

The discomfort feelings accumulating now.
Wishing I can get a suitable way to release the bad emotions before I would burst.

Not another EMO day.

Wan Qi

Signing Off.