Apr 28, 2009

H.A.P.P.Y

Is that so hard to keep me happy?
I think it is the matter of thinking.
I'm always the negative thinker. HehE ^^
I'm willing to change. Yup, i'll change soon.
And i started to change already.
I tried to think in a more positive way.
I tried to let go those negative thinking.
I tried to throw out all the emo.
I wanna make a change.
Change for myself. And change for those care me.
I dont wish to see anyone worry about the emo me again.
I dont wish to see anyone worry about the down me again.
I dont wish to see anyone having problem with the emo me again.
I dont want to burden other again.
I dont want to be the troublesome one.
I want to be the special one.
I want to be the positive one.
Time.
As the time go and i will have changes!!!
p/s : Sorry for the one i burden today due to my emo. Sorry for made you worry. But thanks. Thanks for your concern.

Apr 23, 2009

Let Go~

Someone told me that i should let go sth and yet i agree with him.
Really. It's the time to let go. I dont have much more extra effort to continue with it. I need time to relax and i need time to think of my mistakes. Need time for some self reflection. Time is the thing i needed the most now.
I knew it wont be easy to let go so many things now. My ego-ness wont let myself put things down so fast. But yet, i will try my best. I really dont hope to continue with the life now. I need my real and original personality back. Live with mask was not that easy and happy.
I need time now. Just let the time to recover the wound i made and let the time be the teacher of mine.
* Just a random post for me.

Apr 21, 2009

Hangout

Just 3 days. Went out everyday for different purpose.
18/4 - Just hang around
After anugerah, we went out again. Went to the same destination like what we did last week.
Had a taxi ride to Carrefour. The taxi driver was a good talker.(Actually he was the one to talk all the time!)
JV brought something for her mother and sister there. We are just hanging around there, but at least all of us enjoying.
Went to Jusco later. To buy present for someone. Although it was quite late, but it's still a need.
Went to 'Pao Bing' again. The second time. Ordered something new to me. Quite sweet anyway. And the vanilla really Vanilla.
Hving ss section there. Kept taking picture there. [Pic will be uploading soon]
Time to back. The taxi driver was 'tut~tut~tut!' He dont know the way but he dont want to ask. And he bring us till to Taman Fadason then only patah balik. We wasted RM1++ lol.
We did enjoy that day although we got no point to hang around there. Friends are those who bring you joy and this is true. They really bring me lot of joy.
19/4 - Making cake
Went to Shiyien house. Just want to make a cake for Wenyi birthday. A cheese cake.
Followed all the instruction and the recipe. Kinda huru-hara although be prepared more earlier.
But sth hurted me. Dont wanna to tell here, but what i can said is i was dissapointed enough with you. Please! Dont push me till the limit. I'll burst one day and i'm sure my word will hurt you!
Btw, the cake taste good. LOL. If can, i'll do it again!
20/4 - Out again
Went out for Wenyi birthday celebration. Happy Birthday~~~
Long time didnt wear contact lens already. Worn it that day and it wasted my time. Sorry Ning coz i'm late.
Reached Wenyi house. And the pizza was delicious! Can sell it already la...
Those guys told me that they were in the newspaper and their 签 was kinda suitable to them.
Walked to ktm station and saw Chooichee and Woeishya. Went to Sungaiwang. Just same like us.
In the train, dont even sit. No reason for this, just that want to challenge my balance point.
Reached there by 11.00am. and Yenhao forgot how to go there. Exercise a lot that day. Kept walking and we used stair all the time.
Finally reached. Sang all the time. And also Kaihong dance was great!
The room was cold enough for me. More than enough. And the spagetthi was too spicy for me. The pepper...
After the songs, we went to Metro Prima for 'PaoBing' again. Again you know...
Should have my parfreit, but the waitress had the wrong order. So, missed my parfreit.
Went back home...
Sorry to all you guys coz the whole day i was not in the right mood. Thank you for not forget me and still treat me like a friend.
What a busy weekend, right?

18 April - Anugerah Cemerlang

For your infomation, today was the majilis anugerah cemerlang. And as a prefect, i had my duty. As a good student, sure i had my anugerah la.
Starting from the morning, reached school by 7.30am. to unlock the f.a.r. Saw those duty members having their briefing. They reminded me about i long time didnt go for duty le.
Later, i went hang around in the school with minyen. Saw many beautiful mural. Love the sejarah 1. From the result, our mural not bad also. HeheX. (Meng hern did put lot of effort in.) Somehow while we were hanging around, i helped ljy to put the carpet also.
Then, went to daftar. The teacher in charge stared at me without explaining anything and i finished my pendaftaran by myself. (Teacher, my face dirty isit? Or i'm too cute, so you cant stop to look at me?)
After pendaftaran, went to bp. Wanna start my job. But Caryn havent reach school yet. Kept thinking about things to sell in carnival. Finally, caryn reached school after my neck became long long.
Being asked by senior to stand at the front gate for doing nth. Kept chatting as we had nth to do. Saw Pak Kheong also. He told me that he was still in NS. Suddenly snr Kimyou came and asked us to bring those parents to the hall. Brought an Indian mother to the hall. While walking, kept chatting with her. You know what she asked? She asked what time the event will end. (This is normal, I know) Then, she asked again :'I heard MR.Ong's speech will be very long, isnt?' (OMG, the level 'long air' of mr ong had being so famous!)
Next, back to our own duty as there were senior standing at the front gate. Helped teacher to bring those alas meja to the canteen and it's HEAVY. Kept walking from canteen to bilik masakan to bring plates, cups and so-called teapot.
We all lined up when the vip reached the school. Standing beside snr Hann and it showed how short am i. T.T Clapped our hand and followed the vip till the hall. Quite swt LOL.
Rushed back to canteen and started our job. We teared off the plastic of the chairs and snr Soonheng seems like being quite pro for it. (The time i finished 1 chair, he managed to tear 2 already.)
While we tearing the plastic, (doing somekind of vandalism) being asked back to hall for our anugerah.
After we sat there for 2 long speeches, it was our turn! Went up to the stage and got down from it didnt even waste my 1 min. Got a sijil and also a so-called-voucher. Rm30.
Back to our job again. The food reached school and we started to transfer it. Prefectorial board was asking for 30 packet of food. But the teacher in charge refuse to believe. Haiz.
The main job for me was serving the vip. Those Vip had their food in the room and we stayed inside to serve them with drinks. "Sir, do you prefer coffee or tea?" "Mdm, do you need any refill?"
I was the one incharge the table for Mr ong, Pn wong, PIBG president, and dont know pn wat wat. The only word to desribe them was THEY ARE TOO BERSOPAN SANTUN. The whole plate of mihun, they finished not more than 1/4. The drinks left 3/4. Haiz, conclusion = nothing to do!
After the jamuan, we opened the door for those vip. All of them kept saying thank you to us. Mr lim somemore shake hand with us. swt=.=
We had our lunch also. The mihun was very salty and the drinks were too sweet. Malays prefer it. After we finished eating, we started to clean up. We are not those to wash those plates la. Teachers said dont want burden us wor. HeheX. Snr Soonheng was the only 1 to help me to pack up those rubbish. TQ.
Duty ended and went out after that...
It was memorable enough as it was my first time to act like a waitress. Maybe for the coming oppurtunity, i can do it more better than this time.
And i would not forget that someone promised me for the story telling section!

Apr 10, 2009

it will b better

又一周过去了。但,却也是emo的一周。很多朋友会责怪我常常emo。我知道我不应该,但我真的过不了那一个关卡。其实是从星期一开始的。一句话,开始了我的emo星期。某人投诉我我处事方法有了点问题,teguran 方面需要被改进。行,我承认我的错,我能改;但,我真的接受不了那一句控告。“lan si"是对我的控告,我有吗?话真的不能乱说……我长期的忍让,难道就得到这样的回报吗?真的气馁了……
接下来就是某人对我的态度。一星期下来,长期的碰面,却没有很多的对话。距离远了,真的很远了。原来,对我的誓言并不真切,诺言可以被践踏!我累了,真的很累了。我现在根本不敢向你求证任何的任何,我害怕,我担心,我累了……
原来,自己真的很没有用。之前对她们的诺言也没有被实践。感觉很不舒服。觉得自己没有尽到自己的努力,觉得自己很无能……原来冷落感是因自己所致,不能在把责任推到她们身上……冷落感,好重……
期望越高,失望越大。比赛输了。输了给自视过高的自己。第三,好讽刺的位置……不过,仍得恭喜前两位的小妹妹。
其实很想和别人哭诉,可惜时间上一直不允许。应该是上天想让我自己去面对挑战,面对这一切的不如意吧?
和友人谈起了学习放下。放下真的不容易,但时间真的能冲淡这一切。或许,现在的自己应该期待时间对自己的洗礼,期待另一个全新的自己……

Apr 3, 2009

Memorable...

All about this week:
-The performance of our class that day was kinda WULIAO. It was like we didnt prepare and we went up to the stage. Actually we got lot of time to practice, but seems like we dont really care for this performance right? However, we did what they want us to do already. We had accomplish all of our jobs. WE ARE THE BEST for me already.(at least we dare to go up without much of preparation.)
-As a helper for Science and Maths taman angkat. Decided to make a big change in the taman. Having a lot of ideas(make full use of our imagination), but the final decision was the simplest one as we did not have much time for it. Looking forward for the marking section as we sacrified lot of time on it. Hopefully what we did can impress others. But till now no one know about the marking result. (did they all gave mark?) Realise sth new. Those 6 formers are intellegent. Not only their studies good, co-corikulum ok, they somemore know how to plant. Their knowledge are much more wider than my. Can i become one of them in the future? They are really mature people compared to us. They know very well how to organise their life. Hope they can have a wonderful future after they graduate from this school. Good luck to all of you and thanks for being so kind to me. Thanks for what you guys teach me these days and the 'first' time you guys gave me.
-As a free helper to draw badminton club's mural. As my art scored B- for many many years ago, i don't understand why i have been there. I'm quite useless there as i need people help for many things.But it was my first time actually. A brand new experience for me. It was memorable and i will keep it in deep heart. Thanks to those there with me that day. Thanks to the two guys for letting me paint their hands. I did enjoy the process!
-Again as a helper for KPJ taman angkat. Seniors want us to clean up the taman as it looks like jungle(mini 1) that no one explored inside. T.T Kai Yan scared all those juniors by playing with the cacing and made us worry by chit-chatting with the plants. Although i knew why she did so, but can you do those stuff while no one there?
-Tried hard to finish all my homework. It was like hill of homeworak as i'm lazy to finish them while i was free. Kinda lazy again. And finally I DID IT! I managed to hand in all my works on time. And hereby i want to thank CKY for her concern to me. She was the one who will 'membebel' there if i dint accomplish my work.Thanks a lot to Min Yen also as she let me borrow her books for many many times in a week. She did well in her work and her books were the best choice. LOL.
-Having the first meeting among ourselves. But the result seems like not that good. The meeting did give me lots of inspire.Finally i realise the way to become a leader is not that easy as i think before. The way i did before actually was the wrong one. I will change it and i hope i manage to change it. And hopefully those PA can change their attitude also... Hopefully no more bad feeling next meeting.
-Arguements have to be solve. And i need time for all these things again. I wish not to solve problems for now, but i knew it was impossible. Dear, i knew what my job is. And i promised i will try my best to keep the point balance. I PROMISE. And you Please keep the promise.
What a tired week again.