250912 - Never.

You will never know.
That a simple action or a simple word from you meant a lot to me.

You will never know.
I just could not get rid from that bad thought towards her.

You will never know.
How much pain I went through before I could stand up firmly.

You will never know.
How insecure I felt deeply in my heart.

You will never know.
How much I changed just for a praise from you.

You will never know.
Cause you never want to know.

230912 - Not Another EMO Post

Well, for those that don't wish to read some emotion posts, I'm here to apologize first as me not really in the good mood.

First thing that ruin the week was the MUET result.
I knew, for a lot of people it's more than enough.
I knew, I shouldn't put on high hope.
But I just couldn't accept that I didn't achieve what I want.
180, band 4 ( 180-219 ).
A mark lesser will just drop me a band to band 3.
Should I say I'm lucky enough?
Is it my target set too high?
Is it the teacher's problem?
Is it the examiner problem?
Or my english is just that poor?
It's sad to see that a lot of my classmates need to retake.
Was deciding which should I do and until this moment, I haven't make up my mind.
Retake? Remark? Accept?

Next, my trial result is like SHIT.
Again blame on myself.
What else to blame when own didn't give enough concentration and preparation on it.
Disappointment and jealousy made me feel the pressure finally.
I shall work hard on STPM starting now without any procrastination anymore!
Hope this can last long.
4.0, still seems like a dream that hard to achieve.

Lastly, social problems that I faced at all time.
I'm not those kind that can mix with others easily.
Please don't say me look down on anyone or whatever.
Me just don't really wish to expose too much to others.
Sometimes, just like and love the people around me making me feel suffer enough.
Don't ask me why, but I enjoy being alone sometimes.
There were people that accidentally stepped into my safe zones in past week making me feel insecure now.

The discomfort feelings accumulating now.
Wishing I can get a suitable way to release the bad emotions before I would burst.

Not another EMO day.

Wan Qi

Signing Off.

160912 - 暧昧

- 暧昧，是精神越轨的行为-
- 拥有暧昧的对象，无疑是对自己情人最大的精神虐待 -

Saw this in the newspaper yesterday and felt it so true.
Don't know how many people gonna agree with it?

They said 暧昧 is the most awesome part in a relationship, cause it's the starting point and people often gave much more attention to the soon-to-be-lovers.
Being much more gentleman and lady, try to fulfill each of the wish and desire, for sure making the 暧昧 seems more attractive =)

I personally doesn't reject 暧昧 too, but it's only for those both without lovers.
For those with lovers but still having such friends that are in 暧昧, I personally couldn't agree at all.
For me, both that are in this situation, they are selfish enough.

Many may just say, friends only, we did nothing much like couple also.
We didn't fall in love, we are just best friends in opposite sex.
Why can't opposite sex become true best friends?

Say is always much more easier than to do.

Ever heard, 恋人未满，友谊之上?

Using the name of friends, they might betray their lovers at any moment.
They can chat at all times. Chat only doesn't effect, but how if they chat in phone for more than 1 hour? At last their lovers just get this "No la, I just ask sth and chat some general stuffs with my best friend."
They can go out alone with the name of best friend again.
They can do a lot of stuffs alone and to comfort their partners, "We are friends."

Don't understand why they can have such selfish personality.
I'm sorry but I really dislike those flower-hearted people.
I couldn't stand that. Last time watched too many dramas? =D
I couldn't accept when there are peoples that would hurt others with the name of friends.

Anyway, just some advises to those with lovers:
Never ever being over close with your best friend and never lie.
Lost trust will be hard to be gain back again.

That will be the deepest pain and forever scar on me.

I'll never forgive and forget what you have done to me.

WanQi

Signing off

130912 - Week of Exhausting

Yes, it's almost there!

2 more easy papers to go. I shall not say easy, but not really those papers that can burden me heavily la weh =D

Suffered for more than a week, mentally and physically.

I used to sleep a lot when I'm under stress, so same to the trial weeks.

My weights going up la =(

I often slept for few hours in the noon then night stay up till 2 =(

What imbalanced and unhealthy lifestyle was this =(

Anyway, me didn't do enough preparation for this time obviously, but I did put in effort, though a bit late and last moment =(

Hopefully the out coming results won't run too much from what I expected.

Good luck to everyone that ended the trials too, all of us need that, cause the teachers gonna give back the papers SOON, REAL SOON.

Well, congratulation to all the UPSR candidates for the released burden =D

Upcoming is the PMR people, Gambate!

Ohya, talked about the exams.

Gosh, my "lovely" STPM gonna start from 19 Nov and end at 12 Dec.

What a bad news =(

The timetable ain't the best arrangement for me =(

For those wish to know more about that timetable, please refer to here =D

I'm currently free. But soon I'll back to that cage until the exam over, so stay tuned =D

 

It's a dream to achieve.

WanQI

Signing off